Talking about mental health is hard
Reflecting on a tough week and why I talk about mental health
Welcome to the second issue of Not Okay Club! I’ll mess up the count at some point but till then, I’m going to keep at it.
It’s been a very weird year for a lot of us, including me. I am not really sure what particular topic I want to write about today. Since sending out the last issue, I caught myself in the familiar trap of pressurizing myself to write it because I technically had a deadline. But deadlines with no consequences don’t really work for me as they can easily be shifted, so here we are.
So I just decided to write. Mostly ramble in this issue. I hope you can forgive me for that.
October is ADHD Awareness Month and originally I wanted to create a series of posts about ADHD and the crippling side effects it can have when it goes untreated. I also had excellent ideas for drawing comics around that. Ironically, my ADHD didn’t let it happen again. (If you’re unfamiliar with ADHD, don’t worry, we’ll be talking about it a lot more. Even if you don’t think you’re ADHD, I’d urge you to stick around because there’s a good chance you might know a loved one who is an ADHDer)
I’ve spent all of last week beating myself up about it as the time was slipping by and I felt absolutely frozen. I knew _what_ I had to do, I knew _how_ it had to be done, but I _just_ couldn’t _do it_. It’s infuriating to be stuck like that sometimes. This is a cycle I find myself stuck in a lot and it’s very familiar. So to break it, I’ve decided that I’m not going to beat myself about it. Which is why I’m here writing about why it has been so hard to write lol.
I am also struggling because a lot of this is very personal and that can be extremely intimidating. I don’t want to talk about mental health by rattling off a bunch of symtpoms that can be found ad-nauseum online in thousands of listicles. What jas worked for me is reading how it affected individual people because the presentation can vary SO MUCH. I talk about personal struggles and the challenges that I face in my day-to-day life when struggling with mental health. That takes a lot of courage especially when you repeatedly see examples of folks who dare to be vulnerable being shot down or made fun of or just not being taken seriously…
It’s hard to just go and put your insecurities out in the big bad world when your inner child is so scared of rejection, even perceived rejection.
But I want to talk about this loudly. I have stayed silent for the majority of my life which predictably wreaked havoc for a long time. I come from a community where you just don’t talk about this stuff at all. You’re struggling? Having a bad day, month, year? So what, bottle it all in - it’s all a part and parcel of life. Parents don’t talk to their kids, partners don’t talk to each other. Your closest, most trusted relationships have no idea about your mental state.
As a kid, I often found myself on the brink of full blown meltdowns while being repeatedly refused the help I need. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Which is why I decided to talk about it. Loudly.
I want people to know they’re not misfits. They’re different and that’s okay. They can seek help, accommodations and communities which will welcome them with open arms and make them feel at home.
The mental health space is becoming increasingly crowded but it’s still pretty homogenous when you zoom in. If I can convince or be an example for anyone who looks like me that they deserve help, love, care and respect, my job will be done.
I hope you enjoyed my little ramble and it’ll make you think about the stigma around mental health a bit more.
Picks of the week
Being kind to yourself - Hidden Brain
This episode hit me like a rock. It really did. It’s about the power of being kind to yourself and how you can make your relentless inner critic a little bit less noisy. It really makes you think about how much of your life’s narrative is controlled by the tiny voice in your head.The latest episode of The Dropout, the podcast I mentioned earlier does an excellent job of detailing the issue with Silicon Valley. It talks about how and when that shift happened and what’ll take to fix the “fake it till out make it” culture that resulted in the Theranos scam.
I finished reading Queer Intentions, a book that talks about the LGBTQ+ history from the lens of a lesbian UK journalist. She travels to different places of the world to interview LGBTQ+ folks there including those where it’s illegalto be gay.
This episode from Today in Focus from the Guardian about panic buying was super interesting. It talks about the science behind it and why it’s problematic because it shifts the blame for the crisis from those in power to the public.
Have you read or heard or read anything lately? I’d love to hear about it!
I’ll see you soon! Have a lovely week x
Just subscribed. Old guy who is very heartened and glad to see the generation of young adults prioritizing their own well-being and happiness over the "directives" and "dictates" of inherited society... well, we can see how well all *that* has worked out! :-) So, good courage and hope that you continue to find a good path and share with others!